My Chronic Pain Story of Grit and Grace
For over eight months, I've been quietly enduring chronic physical pain. At first, I felt ashamed of my "ailment" in a world that prizes strength, capability, and the idea that if something’s broken, it should be fixed. But what if it can’t be fixed—or takes much longer than expected? It’s time to speak openly about my unseen pain, in hopes that others who struggle with their own hidden challenges might feel less alone. This post is an opportunity to share my story with the hope that it might encourage others to share theirs, fostering a sense of community in perseverance. The world is full of physical and mental pain. We’ll continue to hope for triumph and breakthroughs, but what do we do in the meantime?
As leaders, we must acknowledge the unseen realities that people, ourselves included, may face daily. Making necessary accommodations can ensure that everyone has the support to perform at their best, despite what they’re dealing with.
Post Herpetic Neuralgia
My particular pain has been due to a severe case of Shingles that has left me with chronic nerve damage called Post Herpetic Neuralgia, or PHN for short. The nerves keep firing even-though the skin has now healed. This type of pain feels like someone is stabbing me with electricity again and again. At night, it wakes me up, and the area of skin is also now so sensitive that even my clothes irritate it. I am learning to ignore it, but at times it can be debilitating.
Only some with PHN have found relief with specialised nerve pain medication, however, many others, including myself, do not respond to these and other treatments. For some, the pain can continue for years, and for others it can be permanent.
Persevering - not easy, but necessary
Living with chronic pain is no easy feat, but every day, I hold onto hope—hope for healing, whether through a miracle or the slow work of nerve regeneration. Hope sustains us, no matter the circumstances. Some days, it’s simply the hope of making it through the day. “One day at a time” becomes the mantra, gradually expanding until we’re hoping for a week, a month, and more.
There are, surprisingly, silver linings to pain. This experience has forced me to slow down, listen to my body, and rest—lessons we can all benefit from. I’m being reminded of what truly matters: loving others above material concerns and making the most of each fleeting moment. Most importantly, I’m learning the power of perseverance. Pain can shape us, teaching resilience and strength, and I believe that when we push through, we emerge transformed. It’s gritty, it’s challenging, but there is grace to be found in the journey.
As with any kind of suffering, enduring pain can deepen our compassion for others. If we haven’t experienced hardship, it’s harder to understand others who may be struggling, especially if that impacts their productivity or leads to financial implications like workers’ compensation. Empathy, however, is essential to effective leadership. By recognizing our shared humanity, we can support others with understanding and strength.
Not all pain is physical
As leaders, we must understand that many pains are invisible. Some are physical, while others exist as emotional or mental struggles just below the surface. This is why building a culture of psychological safety is not only crucial for team performance but also now a legislated requirement. I recommend taking the time to genuinely ask those you work with how they’re doing.
A culture that fosters openness and trust allows team members to share their challenges. Leading with empathy means creating spaces where each person feels seen, heard, and valued. For instance, consider ways to accommodate disabilities or neurodivergence within the workplace so everyone can perform at their best.
As leaders, we have a responsibility to model understanding and empathy, creating an environment where unseen challenges don’t limit someone’s potential. By fostering inclusivity, we build resilient teams where each person feels supported to bring their full self to work, even when they’re quietly carrying their own unseen battles.
If you would like support on how to persevere in pain yourself, coaching in how to provide support to a team member that may be suffering in some way, or consultation on how to develop a strategy to ensure your organisation is psychologically 'safe', I'd be glad to help.
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